Quotes & Jokes by Bill Cosby / page 8

Nobody ever says, "Can I have your beets?"

You go and you buy a lottery ticket. You've got just as much chance of getting struck by lightning as you do of winning the lottery.

There is no labor a person does that is undignified; if they do it right.

Have you ever had a cookie? Then you won't get any here either.

After you take off your coats, go to sleep... Then in the morning I'll take you all home.

If the new American father feels bewildered and even defeated, let him take comfort from the fact that whatever he does in any fathering situation has a fifty percent chance of being right.

Old is always fifteen years from now.

This happened to the people. The Constitution says "of the people, by the people, for the people"... but the people who got the office, got into office and forgot about the people.

Men and women belong to different species and communications between them is still in its infancy.

One of the beauties of watching our show is that, really and truly, it remains fresh because you're dealing with human beings and their behavior.

One of the great mistakes that can be made by a man of my age is to get involved in athletic competition with children - unless, of course, they are under six. And even then, stay away from hide-and-seek.

Take that money and build something you can see... something for the children.

Your rooms are as filthy today as they were when you graduated from high school. And we want them cleaned up.

The summit, which is set up to educate people about managing their money and protecting their income, leads to empowerment of self, for which this summit needs to be applauded.

But if that's what you want to be, that's what you will be - as long as you study.