Quotes & Jokes by Bill Maher / page 15
In this country, a smart leader is suspect. That's just the way it is. Even George Bush's father, who was a lot smarter than the son, had to sort of prove that he wasn't that bright.
Like it or not, we’re still a primitive tribe ruled by fears, superstition and misinformation.
I thought when we elected a black president, we were going to get a black president. You know, BP oil spill is where I want a real black president. I want him in a meeting with the BP CEOs, you know, where he lifts up his shirt so you can see the gun in his pants. That’s - "we’ve got a motherfucking problem here?" Shoot somebody in the foot.
Why are there so many puritans in this country, and why can’t the rest of us make them go away?!
Nobody sees people as people. It's all how they relate to my little group.
The comedy gods are smiling on me tonight, because for the longest time, I have said that president Bush must set a timetable for removing his head from his ass... and, by god, last week they went in and looked for it. They didn't find it, so now we don't know where it is, but at least for once in my life, I get to see the words "Bush", "operation", and "successful" in the same sentence.
There's more than one mosque in the world that used to be a church and before that was a temple. Because it's a lot easier to just change the sign on the top and say "under new management" than it is to change the whole building.
Tiger Woods apologized to the three women in America he never got around to sleeping with.
A group of Cuban Americans denounced the Castro government as a fascist regime that monitors and scrutinized its citizens' everyday existence. And then they excused themselves to go watch "Big Brother".
We need more people speaking out. This country is not overrun with rebels and free thinkers. It's overrun with sheep and conformists.
Anyone who is elected mayor of a place called "Sin City" is allowed to be a drunk.