Quotes & Jokes by Bill Maher / page 17
The country can't get well if the people are sick. And the people are sick.
Things aren't right. If a burglar breaks into your home and you shoot him, he can sue you. For what, restraint of trade?
The Founding Fathers were more deists. If you had to categorize them as anything. There was some sort of moving prime force. But it's an impersonal force. Some people call it Nature. Certainly not this personal god who you have a personal relationship with, who listens to your prayers and answers them, or doesn't. You know, not the silly stuff that most Americans believe because we're such a dumb nation.
New Rule: Stop whining about the French. It takes a lot of guts to stand up to the Bush administration and that's more than I can say about the Democrats!
You can’t be a rational person six days a week and on one day of the week, go to a building, and think you are drinking the blood of a two thousand year old space god. That doesn’t make you a person of faith, that makes you a schizophrenic.
Again, America is a stupid country with stupid people who don’t pay attention.
The jury could get the case as early as next week, but the defense says they just want to introduce one last-minute load of crap.
A president can be unpopular for good reasons. You know, I'm not always on the side that the people are right, for God's sake. But, you know, he's not popular when he goes overseas. He couldn't go to Rosa Parks' funeral.
The Bush Administration is always saying, "We don't hear the good news." Yeah, because the journalists are saying, "Cover me, I'm going to the ice machine."
Can we go back to using Facebook for what it was originally for - looking up exes to see how fat they got?
We have been the cowards lobbing cruise missiles from 2,000 miles away. That's cowardly. Staying in the airplane when it hits the building, say what you want about it, it's not cowardly.
I know a whole generation has been raised on the notion of multiculturalism; that all civilizations are just different. No! Not always. Sometimes things are better! Rule of law is better than autocracy and theocracy; equality of the sexes, better; protection of minorities, better; free speech, better; free elections, better; free appliances with large purchases, better! Don't get so tolerant that you tolerate intolerance.
Mick Jagger fucks young girls for a reason. He can. Believe me, plumbers his age would do the same thing if they could. Men are only as loyal as their options.