Quotes & Jokes by Dane Cook / page 15
I say it with my tongue firmly planted in cheek but there's truth to it - being a comedian is very close to being a therapist. When you're working smaller clubs, you're listening. You're feeling an energy, you're going with a tone but when people start yelling out, you almost start a conversation with people.
It's hard dealing with day to day disappointments and feeling like you can't find success. Especially when your best friend is Pixar.
I’m more of a glass empty kinda guy. I look at it as having more room for ice.
I’m making a porno film today. Well, kinda. There’s no sex or people in it. It’s mainly time lapse video of landscapes eroding over time.
Life is too short to waste your time, energy and love on a fucking asshole.
In school I was pretty quiet. Kinda shy until my junior year. But at home I was a freak.
Every joke has its origin - the punching people in the face joke. It hurts like hell to get punched in the face.
It was a personal achievement of mine to get on David Letterman. When I got there, I knew things were really happening for me.
The little boy inside of all us men always loves something video game related.
When I first hit the scene, it was just a lot of go, go, go, go, go. I have a lot of natural energy anyway, but it was over the top.
I can always get better. A lot of my ex-girlfriends don't think I'm funny.
I like to play guitar, jam out, play the blues, go watch movies. I love movies.