Quotes & Jokes by David Spade / page 7

Hopefully, underlying all my jokes is an element of surprise.

Sometimes when I watch a TV season, your favorite shows die quickly. And then sometimes it's not your favorite, and they live on for 12 years.

I'm up. If that doesn't get me up, you know what will. Housekeeping. Housekeeping. Bink. No, need sleepy!

How do you lay low but still do your job? Try to stay out there without being out there like Jenny McCarthy?

My school of thought is, anything goes, but I can't do that anymore.

I'm just lucky to know someone that's that sweet and pretty.

The hard part about SNL is, there's no real communication when you get there. It's not like people are mean to you, they just act like you're not there.