Quotes & Jokes by Dov Davidoff / page 3
Quality thoughts will turn their back on you if you don't treat them with respect.
If only you understood the way I felt... it wouldn't help much because I don't really like you as a person.
Thinking about the fathomless cruelty with which man has treated his fellow man, but also ice cream.
Not sure how I feel about reality. I'm going to begin purchasing stuffed animals and endowing them with the qualities people in my life lack.
I find your lack of intelligence endearing, but not in a way that would keep me from cheating on you constantly.
Just heard a guy say "pussy is my thing". Wow, guy really went out on a limb. Do you also like ice cream, and getting things for free?
If I were a woman, I would walk into church and say, "father, I'm not a sinner, but I think my vagina may have been possessed by the devil".
Unlicensed, illegal immigrants are the safest drivers on the road.
Why's God always got such wacky shit to say? When's the last time you heard somebody say, 'God told me to get a muffin and a cup of tea and cool out, man.'
Bad sign when the thought of your x-girlfriend sends you reeling in a search for new adjectives to describe stupidity and thoughtlessness?
Heard someone say "children are god's gift to the world". What world are you referring to? And what's your definition of gift?
Gay men greet each other just like straight guys do... If one of the straight guys saved the other one's life.