Quotes & Jokes by Greg Behrendt / page 6

Before you look for validation in others, try and find it in yourself.

Young people are gross with their faces and their hope.

I mean, I feel like you can kill the same bird with both stones.

Here's something else to think about: calling when you say you're going to is the very first brick in the house you are building of love and trust. If he can't lay this one stupid brick down, you ain't never gonna have a house baby, and it's cold outside.

Why should you feel honored for getting scraps of his time?

When you unleash the mix upon her, she will understand the beauty of who you are as a human being, and then she will melt and be in your bedroom soon. That's the plan with the mix.

If the guy you’re dating doesn’t seem to be completely into you, or you feel the need to start ‘figuring him out,’ please consider the glorious thought that he might just not be that into you. And then free yourself to go find someone that is.

Sometimes we become attached to what’s familiar, and sometimes we hold on to things that are safe and predictable, even if they are bad for us.

My buddy Tom... he'd been chasing a girl for two years, and he got her the old-fashioned way - dates and listening.

If a guy is treating you like he doesn’t give a shit, he genuinely doesn’t give a shit. No exceptions.

Good enough to tweet, not to say.

Alone also means available for someone outstanding.

I believe in love the verb, not the noun.

If you can find him, then he can find you. If he wants to find you, he will.

For as much as I know about being a guy, I ought to go to a hardware store wearing a tiara. 'Hi, do you have a bang-bang-bang to put the pointy thing in? I need a grab-hold and twisty because I'm putting up some - help! - curtains.'