Quotes & Jokes by Henny Youngman / page 15
If a joke is too hard to visualize, I tell the young comics, then what the hell good is it?
A man says to another man, 'Can you tell me how to get to Central Park?' The guy says no. 'All right,' says the first, 'I'll mug you here.'
My wife and I went back to the hotel where we spent our wedding night. Only this time, I stayed in the bathroom and cried.
I don't believe in reincarnation, but what were you when you were alive?
A bum told me, “I haven’t tasted food all week.” I told him, “Don’t worry, it still tastes the same.”
Farrah's dressing room was next to mine. There was a little hole in the wall. I let her look.
A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, “Are you comfortable?” The guys says, “I make a good living.”
His motto is "Love thy neighbour". His neighbour is an 18 year old hooker.