Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 14

You might be a redneck if the receptionist checks the rat traps at your place of business.

You might be a redneck if your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.

You might be a redneck if you think Old Yeller is a movie about your brother's tooth.

You might be a redneck if you're still scalping tickets after the concert is over.

My mom thinks my new daughter is exceptionally bright, because now she will lie on the floor and talk to the ceiling fan. I said, "Mom, Uncle Harold does that and y'all call him an alcoholic."

You might be a redneck if taking a dip has nothing to do with water.

You might be a redneck if you refer to your wife and mother-in-law as "dual air bags".

You might be a redneck if on stag night, you take a real deer.

You might be a redneck if you missed 5th grade graduation because you had jury duty.

You might be a redneck if you think cur is a breed of dog.

You might be a redneck if... the blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it.

You might be a redneck if your dog can't watch you eat without gagging.

You might be a redneck if your good deed for the month was hiding your brother for a few days.

You might be a redneck if you move your refrigerator and the grass underneath it has turned yellow.

You might be a redneck if your wife wants to stop at the gas station to see if they've got the new Darrell Waltrip Budweiser wall clock.