Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 14

You might be a redneck if you think Old Yeller is a movie about your brother's tooth.

You might be a redneck if you move your refrigerator and the grass underneath it has turned yellow.

If your biggest tax deduction was bail money, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if your wife wants to stop at the gas station to see if they've got the new Darrell Waltrip Budweiser wall clock.

You might be a redneck if on stag night, you take a real deer.

You might be a redneck if taking a dip has nothing to do with water.

You might be a redneck if you missed 5th grade graduation because you had jury duty.

You might be a redneck if... you think that Dom Perignon is a mafia leader.

You might be a redneck if you're moved to tears every time you hear Dolly Parton singing "I Will Always Love You".

You might be a redneck if your toilet paper has page numbers on it.

You might be a redneck if you refer to your wife and mother-in-law as "dual air bags".

You might be a redneck if the receptionist checks the rat traps at your place of business.

You might be a redneck if your good deed for the month was hiding your brother for a few days.

You might be a redneck if your favorite Christmas present was a painting on black velvet.

I've said before that working with Larry is kind of like watching the Jerry Springer Show. After about five minutes, you will feel better about your own family.