Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 15
You might be a redneck if... you think that Dom Perignon is a mafia leader.
You might be a redneck if you think 'N Sync is where the dirty dishes go.
You might be a redneck if... your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.
You might be a redneck if you're a lite beer drinker, because you start drinking when it gets light.
You might be a redneck if your grandmother can correctly execute the sleeper hold.
You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
You might be a redneck if your wife has a beer belly and you find it attractive.
I've said before that working with Larry is kind of like watching the Jerry Springer Show. After about five minutes, you will feel better about your own family.
You might be a redneck if the dog catcher calls for a backup unit when he visits your house.
It's like being the National Guard, we may not be seeing as much action as the front line, but we are living to fight another day.
You might be a redneck if you have the electronic singing fish in more than three rooms in your house.
If you think a turtleneck is key ingredient for soup, you might be a redneck.
You might be a redneck if you have a Hefty bag for a convertible top.
If your biggest tax deduction was bail money, you might be a redneck.