Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 15

You might be a redneck if you think 'N Sync is where the dirty dishes go.

You might be a redneck if you missed 5th grade graduation because you had jury duty.

If your biggest tax deduction was bail money, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if you're moved to tears every time you hear Dolly Parton singing "I Will Always Love You".

You might be a redneck if your wife has a beer belly and you find it attractive.

I've said before that working with Larry is kind of like watching the Jerry Springer Show. After about five minutes, you will feel better about your own family.

You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

You might be a redneck if you have the electronic singing fish in more than three rooms in your house.

My wife is so analytical with raising kids, and I am not. My feeling is if they turn out good, then that means I was a good daddy and put a lot of effort into it. If they turn out bad, it means they took after her side of the family.

You might be a redneck if your dog can't watch you eat without gagging.

You might be a redneck if Santa Claus refuses to let your kids sit in his lap.

You might be a redneck if... your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.

If you think a turtleneck is key ingredient for soup, you might be a redneck.

If someone asks to see your ID and you show them your belt buckle, you might be a redneck.

It's like being the National Guard, we may not be seeing as much action as the front line, but we are living to fight another day.