Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 16
You might be a redneck if there are more than five McDonald's bags currently on the floorboard of your car.
You might be a redneck if your car has never had a full tank of gas.
If your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat, you might be a redneck.
If someone asks to see your ID and you show them your belt buckle, you might be a redneck.
To me, the media in New York and LA have always missed the essence of this country.
You might be a redneck if you can spit without opening your mouth.
My wife is so analytical with raising kids, and I am not. My feeling is if they turn out good, then that means I was a good daddy and put a lot of effort into it. If they turn out bad, it means they took after her side of the family.
You might be a redneck if you think a "quarter horse" is that ride in front of K-Mart.
You might be a redneck if you use the O on a stop sign to sight your new rifle.
You might be a redneck if your wedding was held in the delivery room.
You might be a redneck if you're moved to tears every time you hear Dolly Parton singing "I Will Always Love You".
You might be a redneck if you've ever been arrested for loitering.
You might be a redneck if you have refused to watch the Academy Awards since "Smokey and the Bandit" was snubbed for best picture.