Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 16

That's just something instinctual within men. We always feel like we've got to protect our stuff. Even if it's not worth protecting, we want to protect it. You ever seen people who have like a piece of crap Pinto with a Club on the steering wheel. Somebody breaks the window, steals the Club, leaves the Pinto in a pile of glass.

You might be a redneck if you have a Hefty bag for a convertible top.

You might be a redneck if you're a lite beer drinker, because you start drinking when it gets light.

You might be a redneck if your handkerchief doubles as your shirt sleeve.

You might be a redneck if you've ever been arrested for loitering.

Little girls love dolls. They just don't love doll clothes. We've got four thousand dolls and ain't one of them got a stitch of clothes on.

You might be a redneck if there are more than five McDonald's bags currently on the floorboard of your car.

You might be a redneck if you think a hot tub is a stolen bathroom fixture.

You might be a redneck if your car has never had a full tank of gas.

You might be a redneck if your wedding was held in the delivery room.

If your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if the Home Shopping Channel operator recognizes your voice.

It's a weird sensation to be mad and learning at the same time.

You might be a redneck if you can spit without opening your mouth.

You might be a redneck if you roll you hair with soup cans and wash it once a year.