Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 17

You might be a redneck if you have used a bar stool as a walker.

You might be a redneck if you think a "quarter horse" is that ride in front of K-Mart.

You might be a redneck if you consider pork and beans to be a gourmet food.

If you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Kool Whip on the side, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if you burn your front yard rather than mow it.

You might be a redneck if your soap on a rope doubles as an air freshener.

You might be a redneck if you clean your nails with a stick.

You might be a redneck if your screen door has no screen.

You might be a redneck if you think cur is a breed of dog.

You might be a redneck if you wish your outhouse was as nice as those at the state park.

You might be a redneck if your four-year-old is a member of the NRA.

If the gas pedal on your car is shaped like a bare foot, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if three quarters of the clothes you own have logos on them.

To me, the media in New York and LA have always missed the essence of this country.

You might be a redneck if your momma has ever stomped into the house and announced, "The feud is back on!"