Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 19

You might be a redneck if you have to go down to the creek to take a bath.

You might be a redneck if your Momma would rather go the racetrack than the Kennedy Center.

You might be a redneck if you have a Hefty bag on the passenger side window of your car.

Talking with Gary Busey is kinda like sex. You want to do it, you just don't want to be alone when you do it.

You might be a redneck if you've ever stood in line to get your picture taken with a freak of nature.

You might be a redneck if your soap on a rope doubles as an air freshener.

You might be a redneck if you've ever shot a deer from inside your house.

You might be a redneck if you've never paid for a haircut.

You might be a redneck if your screen door has no screen.

You moon the wrong person at an office party and suddenly you're not 'professional' any more.

You might be a redneck if you think the O.J. trial was the big Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test.

If you've ever made change in the offering plate, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if you prominently display a gift you bought at Graceland.

You might be a redneck if you think that beef jerky and Moon Pies are two of the major food groups.

You might be a redneck if you go to a Tupperware party for a haircut.