Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 20

If you've ever made change in the offering plate, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if you've ever stolen clothes from a scarecrow.

If your wife’s hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if you've ever raked leaves in your kitchen.

Now, it's true I married my wife for her looks... but not the ones she's been givin' me lately.

You might be a redneck if the rear tires on your car are at least twice as wide as the front ones.

You might be a redneck if you've never paid for a haircut.

You might be a redneck if you use a 55 Chevy as a guest house.

You might be a redneck if there are more than ten lawsuits currently pending against your dog.

You might be a redneck if you have to go down to the creek to take a bath.

You might be a redneck if you've ever bathed with flea and tick soap.

You might be a redneck if you've ever bought a used cap.

If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck.

Being a comedian, people tell me stuff they shouldn't tell their therapist.

You might be a redneck if you have refused to watch the Academy Awards since "Smokey and the Bandit" was snubbed for best picture.