Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 20

You may be a redneck if... you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.

You might be a redneck if you think a hot tub is a stolen bathroom fixture.

Now, it's true I married my wife for her looks... but not the ones she's been givin' me lately.

You might be a redneck if your sophisticated show-biz cousin is a rodeo clown.

You might be a redneck if you've ever barbecued Spam on the grill.

You might be a redneck if the rear tires on your car are at least twice as wide as the front ones.

You might be a redneck if you've ever bought a used cap.

You might be a redneck if the biggest fashion risk you take is which plaid you'll wear to the 4-H Fair.

I know if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.

You might be a redneck if you've ever raked leaves in your kitchen.

If your wife’s hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if you have to go down to the creek to take a bath.

You might be a redneck if your biggest ambition in life is to "git that big ole coon. The one what hangs 'round over yonder, back'ah Bubba's barn..."

One in the morning, you have people waiting for a booth to open at a Waffle House.

You might be a redneck if you use a 55 Chevy as a guest house.