Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 21

You might be a redneck if you think a 'cursor' is someone who swears a lot.

You might be a redneck if someone asks to see your ID and you show them your belt buckle.

Being a comedian, people tell me stuff they shouldn't tell their therapist.

If you've ever made change in the offering plate, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if you use a 55 Chevy as a guest house.

You might be a redneck if you’ve got more than three cousins named "Bubba."

Now, it's true I married my wife for her looks... but not the ones she's been givin' me lately.

If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if you use a radiator hose to fix your kitchen sink.

You might be a redneck if you fainted when you met Slim Whitman.

For the first time ever I was taking the family on the road. We stayed with my in-laws, which on life's list of experiences ranks right below sitting in a tub full of scissors.

You might be a redneck if your wife's hairdo attracts bees.

You might be a redneck if you own all the components of soap on a rope except the soap.

You might be a redneck if your beer can collection is considered a tourist attraction in your home town.

You might be a redneck if your best ashtray is a turtle shell.