Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 22

You might be a redneck if your beer can collection is considered a tourist attraction in your home town.

You might be a redneck if you fainted when you met Slim Whitman.

You might be a redneck if the biggest fashion risk you take is which plaid you'll wear to the 4-H Fair.

You might be a redneck if you've ever worn a tube top to a wedding.

If birds are attracted to your beard, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if you were shooting pool when your kids were born.

You might be a redneck if you consider a three piece suit to be: a pair of overalls, a plaid flannel shirt and thermal underwear.

You might be a redneck if you can spit without opening your mouth.

In my life, I have driven some crappy vehicles. But I have never been so desperate for a vehicle that I wanted a used rental car.

Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling.

You might be a redneck if your wife weighs more then your refrigerator.

You might be a redneck if you think a hot tub is a stolen bathroom fixture.

You might be a redneck if you’ve got more than three cousins named "Bubba."

You might be a redneck if more than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general.

You might be a redneck if you keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.