Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 23

You might be a redneck if your wife's job requires her to wear an orange vest.

You might be a redneck if you've ever worn a tube top to a wedding.

You might be a redneck if you've ever shot anyone for looking at you.

You might be a redneck if you own a homemade fur coat.

The stuff that made me mad 20 years ago doesn't really make me mad any more.

I turned down a movie this summer because it was nine weeks in Vancouver and my oldest daughter is 14. I've got four more summers with her. I'm not giving away nine weeks of her summer to go do a silly movie.

Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling.

You might be a redneck if you were shooting pool when your kids were born.

You might be a redneck if your baby's favorite teething ring is the garden hose in the front yard.

You might be a redneck if the diploma hanging in your den contains the words "Trucking Institute".

In my life, I have driven some crappy vehicles. But I have never been so desperate for a vehicle that I wanted a used rental car.

You might be a redneck if you've ever bought lingerie at a yard sale.

You might be a redneck if you keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.

You might be a redneck if you consider a three piece suit to be: a pair of overalls, a plaid flannel shirt and thermal underwear.

You might be a redneck if you think that potted meat on a saltine is an hors d'ouvre.