Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 25

You might be a redneck if you hammer bottle caps into the frame of your front door to make it look nice.

You might be a redneck if you pick your teeth from a catalog.

I really don't require a whole lot in life.

You might be a redneck if you can't tell what color your car is because of the dirt.

You might be a redneck if... your child's first words are 'Attention K-Mart shoppers!'

You might be a redneck if motel 6 turns off the lights when they see you coming.

This book is just a collection of my drawings. I never really showed them to anybody but my wife, and she always laughed at them.

You might be a redneck if your coat-of-arms features kudzu.

You might be a redneck if none of your shirts cover your stomach.

You might be a redneck if you consider "Outdoor Life" deep reading.

You might be a redneck if you have the taxidermist's number on speed-dial.

You might be a redneck if you can tell your age by the number of rings in the bathtub.

You might be a redneck if Jack Daniels makes your list of "most admired people".

You might be a redneck if you've totaled every car you've ever owned.

You might be a redneck if you won't stop at a rest area if you have an empty beer can in the car.