Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 25

You might be a redneck if Jack Daniels makes your list of "most admired people".

You might be a redneck if you hammer bottle caps into the frame of your front door to make it look nice.

You might be a redneck if you've totaled every car you've ever owned.

If your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop always brings you home, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if you can't tell what color your car is because of the dirt.

You might be a redneck if you own more cowboy boots than sneakers.

You might be a redneck if you consider "Outdoor Life" deep reading.

If you think the French Riviera is foreign car, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if your coat-of-arms features kudzu.

You might be a redneck if your wife has ever burned out an electric razor.

You might be a redneck if you have lost at least one tooth opening a beer bottle.

People always ask me, "Did you see Larry's latest movie?" I always say, "No, but I flushed a ten dollar bill down the toilet, so I feel like I've seen it."

You might be a redneck if you can tell your age by the number of rings in the bathtub.

You might be a redneck if the richest member of your family bought a house and you have to help take the wheels off of it.

You might be a redneck if you can change the oil in your truck without ducking your head.