Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 25
If your stomach blocks your view of your feet, cover it up! The only people who should be wearing belly shirts are people who don't have bellies. Now those little baby spare tires are kinda cute; tractor tires aren't! Especially if they've got hair on them!
You might be a redneck if you think that potted meat on a saltine is an hors d'ouvre.
You might be a redneck if you hammer bottle caps into the frame of your front door to make it look nice.
You might be a redneck if you've totaled every car you've ever owned.
You might be a redneck if momma taught you how to flip a cigarette.
Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling.
You might be a redneck if somebody hollers "ho-down" and your girlfriend hits the floor.
You might be a redneck if you've ever been kicked out of the zoo for heckling the monkeys.
You might be a redneck if you have a rag for a gas cap on a car that does run.
You might be a redneck if you can tell your age by the number of rings in the bathtub.
You might be a redneck if your back porch is bigger than your house.
You might be a redneck if you think people that send out graduation announcements are show-offs.
You might be a redneck if your wife has ever burned out an electric razor.