Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 26

The CMT folks, there was a genuine enthusiasm that I've never had in television before on the executive side.

You might be a redneck if you can change the oil in your truck without ducking your head.

You might be a redneck if your wife has ever burned out an electric razor.

If you think the French Riviera is foreign car, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if you own more cowboy boots than sneakers.

You might be a redneck if the richest member of your family bought a house and you have to help take the wheels off of it.

You might be a redneck if you have lost at least one tooth opening a beer bottle.

If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Because five minutes at the fair, you'll be going, 'you know, we're alright. We are dang near royalty.'

You might be a redneck if momma taught you how to flip a cigarette.

You might be a redneck if you think people that send out graduation announcements are show-offs.

You might be a redneck if your primary source of income is the pawn shop.

You might be a redneck if your dad's cell number has nothing to do with a telephone.

I have never been jealous. Not even when my dad finished fifth grade a year before I did.

You might be a redneck if you've ever used lard in bed.

You might be a redneck if you have a rag for a gas cap on a car that does run.