Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 26

This book is just a collection of my drawings. I never really showed them to anybody but my wife, and she always laughed at them.

I've gotten to the point I won't even watch the 11 o'clock news. You just walk away from it thinking how bad everything is.

You might be a redneck if the richest member of your family bought a house and you have to help take the wheels off of it.

You might be a redneck if an expired license plate means another decoration for your living room wall.

You might be a redneck if you won't stop at a rest area if you have an empty beer can in the car.

You might be a redneck if you own more cowboy boots than sneakers.

You might be a redneck if you think people that send out graduation announcements are show-offs.

You might be a redneck if your dad's cell number has nothing to do with a telephone.

You might be a redneck if you can change the oil in your truck without ducking your head.

You might be a redneck if you have a rag for a gas cap on a car that does run.

You might be a redneck if you can tell your age by the number of rings in the bathtub.

You might be a redneck if you've ever used lard in bed.

You might be a redneck if your Junior/Senior Prom had a day care.

You might be a redneck if you have a color coordinating rope that ties down your car hood.

You might be a redneck if your wife has ever burned out an electric razor.