Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 27

You might be a redneck if your primary source of income is the pawn shop.

The biggest thing I've learned is to listen to my own gut. I have learned to trust my instincts.

You might be a redneck if your kids are going hungry tonight because you just had to have those Yosemite Sam mud flaps.

You might be a redneck if there are more dishes in your sink than in your cabinets.

I have never been jealous. Not even when my dad finished fifth grade a year before I did.

You might be a redneck if you gene pool doesn't have a "deep end."

You might be a redneck if the ASPCA raids your kitchen.

You might be a redneck if you smoked during your wedding.

You might be a redneck if taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen.

You might be a redneck if your masseuse uses lard.

You might be a redneck if your mother has been involved in a fist fight at a high school sports event.

You might be a redneck if your pocketknife has ever been referred to as Exhibit A.

You might be a redneck if your wife keeps a can of Vienna sausage in her purse.

You might be a redneck if you think Silence of the Lambs is what happens when Larry walks out to the barn.

You might be a redneck if when you leave your house, you are followed by federal agents of the Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms, and the only thing you worry about is if you can lose them or not.