Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 28

You might be a redneck if you saved lots of money on your honeymoon by going deer hunting.

You might be a redneck if you're an expert on worm beds.

You might be a redneck if your wife's job requires her to wear an orange vest.

This book is just a collection of my drawings. I never really showed them to anybody but my wife, and she always laughed at them.

You might be a redneck if you have to go outside to get something out of the fridge.

I talked to Larry the Cable Guy the other day. Larry's made more money than 10 people should ever make in a lifetime. He was excited because he'd gone over to the livestock auction and bought 20 new feeder pigs.

The biggest thing I've learned is to listen to my own gut. I have learned to trust my instincts.

You might be a redneck if taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen.

You might be a redneck if your baby's favorite teething ring is the garden hose in the front yard.

You might be a redneck if you won't stop at a rest area if you have an empty beer can in the car.

There's no down time any more.

What I hated was doing what somebody in LA thought Jeff Foxworthy ought to do.

You might be a redneck if you can amuse yourself for more than an hour with a fly swatter.

You might be a redneck if you think Silence of the Lambs is what happens when Larry walks out to the barn.

You might be a redneck if your momma has ever been involved in a cuss fight with the principal.