Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 28
You might be a redneck if you think Silence of the Lambs is what happens when Larry walks out to the barn.
You might be a redneck if your primary source of income is the pawn shop.
What I hated was doing what somebody in LA thought Jeff Foxworthy ought to do.
In my life, I have driven some crappy vehicles. But I have never been so desperate for a vehicle that I wanted a used rental car.
You might be a redneck if the best way to keep things cold is to leave'em in the shade.
You might be a redneck if your mother has been involved in a fist fight at a high school sports event.
You might be a redneck if you have started a petition to change the National Anthem to "Georgia on My Mind".
You might be a redneck if your Junior/Senior Prom had a day care.
You might be a redneck if during your senior year you and your mother had homeroom together.
You might be a redneck if you've ever held somebody up with a caulk gun.
You might be a redneck if someone tells you you have something in your teeth, and you take them out to see what it is.
I've been to all 50 states, and traveled this whole country, and 90 percent of the people are good folks. The rest of them take after the other side of the family.
You might be a redneck if you consider your license plate personalized because your dad made it in prison.
People always ask me, "Did you see Larry's latest movie?" I always say, "No, but I flushed a ten dollar bill down the toilet, so I feel like I've seen it."