Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 29

You might be a redneck if your kids are going hungry tonight because you just had to have those Yosemite Sam mud flaps.

If you think a quaterhorse is that ride in front of Kmart... you might be a rednneck.

You might be a redneck if your father encourages you to quit school because Larry has an opening on the lube rack.

You might be a redneck if you haul more than U-Haul.

You might be a redneck if you've ever worn shorts to a funeral home.

You might be a redneck if in tough situations you ask yourself, "What would Curly do?"

You might be a redneck if you give your dad a gallon of Pepto-Bismol for his birthday.

You might be a redneck if you had to remove a toothpick for wedding pictures.

You might be a redneck if you have to go outside to get something out of the fridge.

I wasn't paying attention, what was wrong with me?

You might be a redneck if there has ever been crime-scene tape on your front door.

You might be a redneck if you saved lots of money on your honeymoon by going deer hunting.

You might be a redneck if you're turned on by a woman who can field dress a deer.

My whole career can be summed up with 'Ignorance is bliss.' When you do not know better, you do not really worry about failing.

You might be a redneck if you need an estimate from your barber before you get a haircut.