Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 29
You might be a redneck if the biggest fashion risk you take is which plaid you'll wear to the 4-H Fair.
My wife is like, You finally get your own TV show, you can have any kind of car you want and you get a darned truck. But my brother and I have the same kind of truck now.
You might be a redneck if you won't stop at a rest area if you have an empty beer can in the car.
People would say, Can we develop a sitcom around you? and I would say, Not interested. I'm very happy doing standup and writing and taking my kids to school.
My whole career can be summed up with 'Ignorance is bliss.' When you do not know better, you do not really worry about failing.
You might be a redneck if in tough situations you ask yourself, "What would Curly do?"
If you think a quaterhorse is that ride in front of Kmart... you might be a rednneck.
You might be a redneck if you have a rag for a gas cap on a car that does run.
If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Because five minutes at the fair, you'll be going, 'you know, we're alright. We are dang near royalty.'
You might be a redneck if you give your dad a gallon of Pepto-Bismol for his birthday.
You might be a redneck if your father encourages you to quit school because Larry has an opening on the lube rack.
You might be a redneck if your vehicle has a two-tone paint job - primer red and primer gray.
You might be a redneck if your birth announcement included the word "rug rat".
You might be a redneck if your only condiment on the dining room table is the economy size bottle of ketchup.