Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 4

Country music is about new love and it's about old love.

All these years I've sat in airports and kind of drawn people and put like Far Side captions on them.

You might be a redneck if you have flowers planted in a bathroom appliance in your front yard.

You might be a redneck if your Christmas tree is still up in February.

If your dog and your wallet are both on a chain, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if you use your fishing license as a form of ID.

If your working television sits on top of your non-working television, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if the antenna on your truck is a danger to low flying airplanes.

I got to tell you, I really appreciate Ron for being a part of this. He had to leave a New Year's Eve party to be here tonight. I'm not saying Ron drinks, but I hugged him and my vision is blurry.

You might be a redneck if... you've been on TV more than 5 times describing the sound of a tornado.

You might be a redneck if it's easier to spray weed killer on your lawn than mow it.

If you ever cut your grass and found a car, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool.

I say, If everybody in this house lives where it's God first, friends and family second and you third, we won't ever have an argument.

I tried real hard to play golf, and I was so bad at it they would have to check me for ticks at the end of the round because I'd spent about half the day in the woods.