Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 8
If you stand under the misteletoe at Christmas and wait for Granny and cousin Bobby-Sue Ellen to walk by, you might be a redneck.
You might be a redneck if your most expensive shoes have numbers on the heels.
I hope someday we can stamp out illiteracy in America. Of course you'll have to kill alot of my relatives to do it.
If you have ever spray-painted your girlfriends name on an overpass, you might be a redneck.
You might be a redneck if your grandfather completely executes the "pull my finger" trick at the family reunion.
When you get to your third millionth frequent flyer mile, I think something snaps in your brain.
You might be a redneck if you can't get married to your sweetheart because there is a law against it.
You might be a redneck if you have every episode of "Hee Haw" on tape.
You might be a redneck if you've ever worn a dress that is strapless with a bra that isn't.
You might be a redneck if you've ever used a toilet brush as a back scratcher.
You might be a redneck if you have a very special baseball cap, just for formal occasions.
You might be a redneck if on your first date you had to ask your Dad to borrow the keys to the tractor.