Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 30

I know God is real.

You might be a redneck if you have an Elvis Jell-o mold.

You might be a redneck if your vehicle has a two-tone paint job - primer red and primer gray.

You might be a redneck if Exxon and Conoco have offered you royalties for your hair.

You might be a redneck if you have started a petition to change the National Anthem to "Georgia on My Mind".

You might be a redneck if you look upon a family reunion as a chance to meet 'Ms. Right'

You might be a redneck if your momma tore her best dress coon hunting.

You might be a redneck if you have the taxidermist's number on speed-dial.

You might be a redneck if when you run out of gas, you put gin in the gas tank.

You might be a redneck if you grow Vidalia onions, rather than considering them a gourmet item.

I've been to all 50 states, and traveled this whole country, and 90 percent of the people are good folks. The rest of them take after the other side of the family.

Nothing in life prepares you to be famous.

You might be a redneck if your momma gives you tips on how to sneak booze into sporting events.

You might be a redneck if the tobacco chewers in your family aren't just men.

You might be a redneck if you need an estimate from your barber before you get a haircut.