Quotes & Jokes by Jim Carrey / page 9

It's nice to finally get scripts offered to me that aren't the ones Tom Hanks wipes his butt with.

My dad was like a stage mother he always pushed me to do what I wanted.

Ya know what I do almost every day? I wash. Personal hygiene is part of the package with me.

I used to draw a lot. If my mother would ask me to do something else, I'd have a hairy conniption. I'd just go crazy.

I just want to be killer funny. You know kick ass piss in your pants run out of the theatre and rip you dick off and throw yourself into traffic funny!

Our love is like a red, red rose... and I am a little thorny.

I don't make it in regular channels, and that's okay for me.

There was a time when people said, "Jim, if you keep on making faces, your face will freeze like that." Now they just say, "Pay him!"

The inner child runs rampant. They're just smaller, that's all.

I'm a hard guy to live with. I'm like a caged animal. I'm up all night walking around the living room. It's hard for me to come down from what I do.

I just want to be myself.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.

Don't you get it? Someone has to save all the other cable boys and girls, someone has to kill the babysitter.

She just gave blood and she's still got enough to fill up her face.

I refuse to feel guilty. I feel guilty about too much in my life but not about money. I went through periods when I had nothing, so somebody in my family has to get stinkin' wealthy.