Quotes & Jokes by Richard Lewis / page 19

God forbid I should have a simultaneous orgasm with anybody. My goal this year is to make love being naked.

Life's a beautiful thing. With every passing day I have more to worry about.

I'd deeply apologize to Richard Lewis for my offensive slurs to myself.

The biggest plus of marriage is finally realizing that we are alone.

It was so important for me just to have my ex feel good in bed. The low point was when I started to sing, 'Here we go, orgasm! Here we go!' And then when it finally happened, running a victory lap - that was sad. And the high fives, wasn't that unnecessary?

I'll never die. Been there done that.