276 quotes
An amateur ventriloquist, my dad could throw his chest pains.
My shrink gives me 75 per cent off if I make believe I'm someone else.
Lower your expectations and live your life like it isn't yours.
There's no place like home that's why I never went back.
My ego wears an Ace bandage.
My therapist thinks I'd be better off living in a dream-state.
When in doubt you might be right.
I never thought that intolerance would be patriotic.
If there is reincarnation and I come back as myself, I'll kill myself.
My shrink told me it was pointless to believe in myself.
I've learned the hard way. Now I only strive for imperfection.
Marriage was the only way to truly find out that I was the wrong choice.
I wear ear condoms. I don't even want to listen to what I might be contracting.
The only person I can barely compromise with is myself.
Nothing is happening but I'll ruin it.
