276 quotes
You can lead a fanatic to water but you can't make him think.
My shrink gives me 75 per cent off if I make believe I'm someone else.
Lower your expectations and live your life like it isn't yours.
An amateur ventriloquist, my dad could throw his chest pains.
When in doubt you might be right.
My shrink told me it was pointless to believe in myself.
Nothing is happening but I'll ruin it.
My ego wears an Ace bandage.
There's no place like home that's why I never went back.
My therapist thinks I'd be better off living in a dream-state.
I wear ear condoms. I don't even want to listen to what I might be contracting.
I've learned the hard way. Now I only strive for imperfection.
I never thought that intolerance would be patriotic.
My grandmother was a Jewish juggler: she used to worry about six things at once.
My mother was taught by a nasty ventriloquist who lived nearby my childhood home to throw guilt without moving her conscience.
