Quotes & Jokes by Robin Williams / page 13

My religious background is that my mother is a Christian Dior Scientist.

Montovani? They play Montovani to insomniacs that don't respond to strong drugs.

For a while you get mad, then you get over it.

I'm going to go to Kennebunkport and see if they respond any quicker!

It's nice to be in Washington, where the buck stops here. Way to go. And then it's handed out to AIG and many other people.

It felt wonderful doing it. But that's rather like urinating in brown velvet pants. It can feel wonderful, but no one will watch.

We're all worms, but I do believe I'm a glowworm.

I called them and told them we were coming and said I didn't know how many we were bringing. They said bring them all. They said even if they had to get cots and line them all up, they would accommodate us. It's been great.

We're not laughing at you - we're laughing near you.

Being a famous print journalist is like being the best-dressed woman on radio.

I think that after you get married a third time you have to give up a body part. Larry King would just be a head on a fucking stick.

[Imitating a Frenchman] Fuck you Americans! Uncultured, crass Americans! We hate all of you! Fu- the Germans are here! Hello Americans! We love you!

I thought the purpose of education was to learn to think for yourself.

On stage you're free. You can say and do things that if you said and did any place else, you'd be arrested.

The first time I tried organic wheat bread, I thought I was chewing on roofing material.