Quotes & Jokes by Robin Williams / page 13

Women! Can't live with 'em, can't live with 'em!

Montovani? They play Montovani to insomniacs that don't respond to strong drugs.

The only thing I'm really suited for is the musical version of Congo.

And now that you have a child you have to clean up your act, 'cause you can't drink anymore. You can't come home drunk and go, "Hey, here`s a little switch: Daddy's gonna throw up on you!"

My religious background is that my mother is a Christian Dior Scientist.

You can start any Monty Python routine and people finish it for you. Everyone knows it like shorthand.

For a while you get mad, then you get over it.

I thought the purpose of education was to learn to think for yourself.

It felt wonderful doing it. But that's rather like urinating in brown velvet pants. It can feel wonderful, but no one will watch.

We're not laughing at you - we're laughing near you.

I'm going to go to Kennebunkport and see if they respond any quicker!

I called them and told them we were coming and said I didn't know how many we were bringing. They said bring them all. They said even if they had to get cots and line them all up, they would accommodate us. It's been great.

We're dealing with fundamentalists... the Amish are fundamentalists, but they don't try and hijack a carriage at needlepoint. And, if you're ever in Amish country and you see a man with his hand buried in a horse's ass, that's a mechanic. Remember that.

Our freedoms are under siege - for our own good, they tell us.

I think that after you get married a third time you have to give up a body part. Larry King would just be a head on a fucking stick.