Quotes & Jokes by Robin Williams / page 8

I believe in destiny. There must be a reason that I am as I am. There must be.

Without the reality, it's just slamming into things. If you start with that physical comedy, then things surely but slowly fall apart. But you build on that reality and then you can go pretty outrageous - up to the Keaton-like gags.

You're going to the cemetery with your toothbrush. How Egyptian.

That's the formaldehyde. That's why Granny's so well-preserved.

See what I mean? You gotta be crazy. Ain't no time to be sane.

Gentiles are people who eat mayonnaise for no reason.

Real loss is only possible when you love something more than you love yourself.

I'm looking for Miss Right, or at least, Miss Right Now.

Do you get the feeling with Sarah Palin, in high school, she was voted least likely to write a book and most likely to burn one?

When you have a great audience, you can just keep going and finding new things.

When the media ask George Bush a question, he answers, "Can I use a lifeline?"

Three wishes - no substitutes, exchanges or refunds.

Inside of you, there's a fashion model just waiting to throw up.

They make these outrageous comedies and just use these kids as props. They're not beings who are transforming.

I had a lovely military flight, thank you. I love spiraling in - nothing like that to make your colon go, "Fire in the hole!"