Quotes & Jokes by Robin Williams / page 8

I'm a very tolerant man, except when it comes to holding a grudge.

Come on now! You kick out the gooks, the next thing you know, you have to kick out the chinks, the spicks, the spooks, the kikes and all that's going to be left is a couple of brain-dead rednecks.

That's the formaldehyde. That's why Granny's so well-preserved.

We wanted a name that was fun and different and something people would remember. Foundation board member Betty McCain suggested Winter Solstice, and we went with that.

See what I mean? You gotta be crazy. Ain't no time to be sane.

Gentiles are people who eat mayonnaise for no reason.

Real loss is only possible when you love something more than you love yourself.

I'm looking for Miss Right, or at least, Miss Right Now.

When you have a great audience, you can just keep going and finding new things.

Do you get the feeling with Sarah Palin, in high school, she was voted least likely to write a book and most likely to burn one?

When the media ask George Bush a question, he answers, "Can I use a lifeline?"

Inside of you, there's a fashion model just waiting to throw up.

I had a lovely military flight, thank you. I love spiraling in - nothing like that to make your colon go, "Fire in the hole!"

Just now when I said, "I have a crush on you," you didn't say, "no way loser". I'd rather have a lobotomy by a leper. That means something.

It has this scope that's outrageous, but yet at the core, these very intimate scenes, so that alone is interesting.