Quotes & Jokes by Sandra Bernhard / page 4

Once you're heterosexual and comfortable with that, you don't need to take out an announcement every day.

Everybody has their own way of tapping into their realness.

How far can we go? How much can we absorb and still have some peace of mind?

I'm somebody who can absorb a lot.

Things are so scary and intimidating with AIDS and the right wing that people are looking for somebody to just give them safe harbors.

I would be dishonorable in a relationship because I wasn't getting what I wanted from that person.

Kids need to be educated about sex and sexuality and if they're going to have sex, learn how to protect themselves and not get pregnant.

I'm not saying I'm some high priestess. I do things, I'm sure, that are damaging, but it's certainly not on purpose.

I don't consider myself a comic but a performer. A comic tells bad jokes.

I don't like surgery. I don't like elective surgery, I don't like surgery that you have to have.

I like doing new material in LA. It's very challenging.

I don't believe in karma.

I've always been opposed to groups. I can't believe the doctrine of group is going to work for every single person within the group.

There are few performers who would have had the audacity to even bring up the fact that they had been poorly reviewed.

I believe in people living their lives and having privacy.