Quotes & Jokes by Sandra Bernhard / page 4

The fumes are killing us, and we wonder why things are going haywire.

I can't tell you 100 percent what makes a relationship work. But I can see something good coming and I can see something bad coming.

I'm very much a humanist. I'm very much pro-choice. I'm very much politically correct.

Everybody has their own way of tapping into their realness.

How far can we go? How much can we absorb and still have some peace of mind?

Kids need to be educated about sex and sexuality and if they're going to have sex, learn how to protect themselves and not get pregnant.

I would be dishonorable in a relationship because I wasn't getting what I wanted from that person.

I'm not saying I'm some high priestess. I do things, I'm sure, that are damaging, but it's certainly not on purpose.

I don't like surgery. I don't like elective surgery, I don't like surgery that you have to have.

I don't consider myself a comic but a performer. A comic tells bad jokes.

I don't believe in karma.

I like doing new material in LA. It's very challenging.

I've always been opposed to groups. I can't believe the doctrine of group is going to work for every single person within the group.

There are few performers who would have had the audacity to even bring up the fact that they had been poorly reviewed.

I believe in people living their lives and having privacy.