Quotes & Jokes by Steve Martin / page 6

You kill me and I'll see that you never work in this town again.

I never touched a gun in my life. That and that alone forever doomed me to middle management.

I am a wild and crazy guy!

I believe in equality. Equality for everybody. No matter how stupid they are or how superior I am to them.

Lord loves a workin' man; don't trust whitey.

They're going to ask those questions.

I believe entertainment can aspire to be art, and can become art, but if you set out to make art you're an idiot.

These days it's hard to look at a poodle without thinking what a good meal he would make.

Well, we're just gonna have to use our brains.

Comedy is not pretty.

Comedy may be big business but it isn't pretty.

The environment changed with Martha Stewart and Enron.

I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks.

It’s not the size of the nose that matters, it’s what’s inside that counts.

Let us just say: I was deeply unhappy, but I didn't know it, because I was so happy all the time.