Quotes & Jokes by Steve Martin / page 5
The presence of excessive wealth puts an unnatural spin on the appreciation of art.
Writers block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.
It doesn't behoove us not to ask these questions. It makes us look like fools.
It's so hard to believe in anything anymore. I mean, it's like, religion, you really can't take it seriously, because it seems so mythological, it seems so arbitrary... but, on the other hand, science is just pure empiricism, and by virtue of its method, it excludes metaphysics. I guess I wouldn't believe in anything anymore if it weren't for my lucky astrology mood watch.
Mirabelle is not affected by a man’s failures to approach her, as her own self-depreciating attitude never allows the idea that he would in the first place.
Don't have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.
There's a big difference between the National Book Awards and the Academy Awards. At the Academy Awards you can feel the greed and envy and ego. Whereas the National Book Awards are in New York.
Somewhere in the world is... The world's worst doctor and he could be yours.
We've had some fun tonight... considering we're all gonna die someday.
Hold it El Guapo! Or I'll pump you so full of lead you'll be using your dick for a pencil!
I think I did pretty well, considering I started out with nothing but a bunch of blank paper.