How to make a million dollars: First, get a million dollars.
Steve Martin Quotes and Jokes
I believe you should place a woman on a pedestal - high enough so you can look up her dress.
Now let's repeat the non-conformists' oath: I promise to be different! (audience repeats) I promise to be unique! (audience repeats) I promise not to repeat things other people say! (audience repeats, laughs) Good!
The new phone book’s here... The new phone book’s here... This is the kind of spontaneous publicity I need... My name in print... That really makes somebody... Things are going to start happening to me now.
The banjo is such a happy instrument - you can't play a sad song on the banjo - it always comes out so cheerful.