Quotes & Jokes by Steve Martin / page 8
I hadn't seen a body put together like that since I solved the case of the Murdered Girl with the Big Tits.
Come on, let's sing one of the old tunes. "When you're sliding into home and your pants are full of foam, Diarrhea."
How is it possible to miss a woman whom you kept at a distance, so that when she was gone you would not miss her?
All of a sudden I had to remember some words that Marlowe had told me over fifteen years ago: "Dead men don't wear plaid." Hmm... Dead men don't wear plaid. I still don't know what it means.
So she viewed time spent in the land of the normal as an investigation into the world of marriage-worthy men, even if she was unsure about her own interest in marriage. There must be one solid citizen who also had a spark of life, a sense of humor and adventure.
People come up to me and say "Steve, what is film editing?" And I say "How should I know? You're the director."
There are some people that will not pick up a phone and call you, but if you knock on a door and talk to them, they'll talk back to you.
Lots of women are getting involved. They're not satisfied just being passengers anymore.
Lacy was just as happy alone as with company. When she was alone, she was potential; with others she was realized.
The self-prepared dinner is a great time killer for lonely people and as much time should be spent on it as possible.
I believe in eight of the ten commandments; and I believe in going to church every Sunday unless there's a game on.
A girl who is willing to give every ounce of herself to someone, who could never betray her lover, who never suspects maliciousness of anyone, and whose sexuality sleeps in her, waiting to be stirred.