Quotes & Jokes by Artie Lange / page 3
A weekend in Vegas without gambling and drinking is just like being a born-again Christian.
The point of drinking in moderation is that sometimes you don't drink in moderation.
Jason Alexander is a committed actor, he went from working on a show about nothing to actually doing nothing.
Howard's unbelievably nutty, politically incorrect style is probably the single biggest influence on me.
Frank Sebastiano is a real write. He has two Emmys, one from 'SNL' and the other from 'The Chris Rock Show' . The only award I have is an FM-mmy.
The Howard Stern Show is a big hit because it entertains dumb and smart people at the same time for different reasons. There's a couple of shows like that, The Simpsons is another one, smart people and stupid people love The Simpsons for totally different reasons; that's why it's a big hit, everybody's either smart or stupid so a lot of people watch it. Our show, smart people and stupid people love it for different reasons and early on in my career I made a commitment to myself; I refuse to cater to stupid people. What we do on the air is just try to be funny and hope that the smart people listen more than the dumb people.
I found a way for her to fall asleep, Paris Hilton, talk to herself.
The regular guy still relates to him and Howard is a $500 million guy now who dates a model and drives about in a limo all day. But Howard still knows how to make a plumber laugh and those guys still have him on in the morning, because he is a real talent.
If I get lucky enough one day to have Howard`s money and life... Actually, you know what, if I ever get Howard money I am going to retire.
Vegas means comedy, tragedy, happiness and sadness all at the same time.
I was at Yankee Stadium one time at 5 a.m., but that was to buy angel dust.
Of course in show business there are two ways to play it and I am not politically correct so I am not going to get endorsements or anything like that.