Quotes & Jokes by Bill Maher / page 14
That's ended, that's over. I want you to meet my pimps. I thought, I'm a show-business ho already, so I might as well be a real ho.
Only cowards push a button from thousands of miles away, or tens of thousands of feet up, to kill people who can't possibly fight back.
Tiger Woods apologized to the three women in America he never got around to sleeping with.
The jury could get the case as early as next week, but the defense says they just want to introduce one last-minute load of crap.
In no way was I intending to say, nor have I ever thought, that the men and women who defend our nation in uniform are anything but courageous and valiant, and I offer my apologies to anyone who took it wrong.
The church has historically been very slow to embrace technology. Until very recently, their idea of a laptop was an altar boy.
I do think the patriotic thing to do is to critique my country. How else do you make a country better but by pointing out its flaws?
This has been a learning experience for me. I also thought that privacy was something we were granted in the Constitution. I have learned from this when in fact the word privacy does not appear in the Constitution.
Amazon has included me in an opportunity to provide top-shelf television-style programming live on the world's computer screens. To hold forth with the industry's very best actors, directors, musicians, authors - I'm thrilled to be on the cutting edge of this.
Our mistakes from the past are just that: mistakes. And they were necessary to make in order to become the wiser person we became.
Did you hear this – Sarah Palin finally heard what happened in Japan and she’s demanding that we invade Tsunami. I mean she said, "These Tsunamians will not get away with this". Oh speaking of dumb twats, did you...
Anyone who is elected mayor of a place called "Sin City" is allowed to be a drunk.