Quotes & Jokes by Bill Maher / page 16

The food is out of this world!

And for the record, all marriages are same sex marriages. You get married, and every night, it's the same sex.

The president is not doing well with African Americans. His popularity rating - his approval rating - with blacks: two percent. Two percent. That is somewhere between Mark Fuhrman and sickle cell anemia.

Nobody sees people as people. It's all how they relate to my little group.

The country has become much more conservative, partly because it's been taken over by the religious right.

I don't want to be a pessimist. I'm a realist. One man's realist is another man's pessimist.

God makes trees, he doesn't write books.

George Bush says, "Gore's book needs a lot of explaining." Of course, Bush says that about every book.

A group of Cuban Americans denounced the Castro government as a fascist regime that monitors and scrutinized its citizens' everyday existence. And then they excused themselves to go watch "Big Brother".

Don't you miss the days when America was just morally bankrupt?

I am so tired of rearranging my life around what the stupidest people might do.

I believe in God, I just give him more credit than being a single parent and an author.

The country can't get well if the people are sick. And the people are sick.

Again, America is a stupid country with stupid people who don’t pay attention.

There's no greater model, in my view, than Jesus Christ.