Quotes & Jokes by Bill Maher / page 7

272 quotes

They’re all for changing the laws except when it comes to their campaign donors.

False hope really makes you cynical.

Is it like gay men go into the priesthood because they figure, "Well, this'll solve my problem. I can't be a homosexual in the priesthood; it'll just go away. Maybe I'll try it with the Republican Party."

Religion to me is a bureaucracy between man and God that I don't need.

Men are only as loyal as their options.

We are a nation that is unenlightened because of religion. I do believe that. I think religion stops people from thinking. I think it justified crazies.

Maybe every other American movie shouldn't be based on a comic book. Other countries will think Americans live in an infantile fantasy land where reality is whatever we say it is and every problem can be solved with violence.

You know what happens when windmills collapse into the sea? A splash.

Let's face it; God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to worship him?

All I did was tell the truth. That's is what the whole show is about! And if "Politically Incorrect" has to go down for it, so be it!

If you think you have it tough, read history books.

And to answer the question that people have about this conspiracy theory that he has a pack in his back, my answer is, if someone was feeding him answers, couldn't they be able to feed him better ones than he came up with?

I think girls hate each other, no doesn't always mean no, you have to lie to stay married, women's sports are boring and the Olympics are gay.

Love does not conquer all.

Faith means making a virtue out of not thinking - its nothing to brag about. And those who preach faith, and enable it, and elevate it, are our intellectual slaveholders - keeping mankind in a bondage to fantasy and nonsense that has spawned and justified so much lunacy and destruction.