Quotes & Jokes by Bill Maher / page 7

That's religion. You pray. You bow. You kneel. You fast. You trim the balls of a giant space penis.

All I did was tell the truth. That's is what the whole show is about! And if "Politically Incorrect" has to go down for it, so be it!

Let's face it; God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to worship him?

Hollywood isn't your cesspool, America. It's your mirror.

Men are only as loyal as their options.

The Democrats are very bad at selling their own product. The Republicans are geniuses at it. And I've said it before, a bad product well apologized for is superior in this country to a good product.

At least half of the Ten Commandments are stupid!

Is it like gay men go into the priesthood because they figure, "Well, this'll solve my problem. I can't be a homosexual in the priesthood; it'll just go away. Maybe I'll try it with the Republican Party."

Faith means making a virtue out of not thinking - its nothing to brag about. And those who preach faith, and enable it, and elevate it, are our intellectual slaveholders - keeping mankind in a bondage to fantasy and nonsense that has spawned and justified so much lunacy and destruction.

Religion to me is a bureaucracy between man and God that I don't need.

False hope really makes you cynical.

In New York, Catholic groups have forced an art gallery to shut down an exhibition of a six-foot image of Jesus in chocolate. So, the Archbishop of New York was very upset. He said, “It is appalling to make Jesus out of food! Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go bake some communion wafers.”

I think girls hate each other, no doesn't always mean no, you have to lie to stay married, women's sports are boring and the Olympics are gay.

I think religion is bad and drugs are good.

We are a nation that is unenlightened because of religion. I do believe that. I think religion stops people from thinking. I think it justified crazies.