Quotes & Jokes by Bob Newhart / page 5

This stammer got me a home in Beverly Hills, and I'm not about to screw with it now.

I've done more than I thought I was ever going to do. I've had a very long and very satisfying career.

Don't be silly and don't waste your time.

Well I was much too practical to presume to have a career in comedy.

I really don't know what makes a comedian. I think it's a family background and environment. Yet if you put the same ingredients in another person, he may never utter a funny line.

You never know when you'll come upon something and it's going to be fodder for new material.

I kind of do it in my head, then I'll try pieces of it on stage and if it looks promising, I'll put it together.

Humor's a weapon if you want to make it one.

The reason I'm a psychologist is based in part on my telephone routines. Much of my humor comes out of reaction to what other people are saying. A psychologist is a man who listens, who is sympathetic.

I've been told to speed up my delivery when I perform. But if I lose the stammer, I'm just another slightly amusing accountant.

I'm very open to the up-and-comers.

The first time I got up in front of an audience was terror, abject terror, which continued for another four or five years. There still is, a little bit.

I don't have a show anymore. I don't have a check coming in every week. This is important to me, I got to score a million tonight or it could all be over.

I feel more comfortable in comedy.

I wouldn't want that man as my psychologist.