Quotes & Jokes by Bob Saget / page 7
Yet there are some people - Steve Allen would dissect comedy forever; he's a really funny guy, but he would love talking about comedy. I'm doing it right now and you all seem bored.
They say, "Keep your enemies closer." But what if you live with them?
Around comics, I've always been known for, oh, that's not dirty, this is dirty.
Saw a man in Whole Foods yelling at his son, "What are you doing?! You know I don't eat bread!!" Is there such a thing as health food abuse?
Just went to a lovely Catholic wedding. I need a drink. They didn't even offer us water. Well they did, but it was Holy water.
I think comedy is on an organic upsurge right now because when I started, it was 1978 at The Comedy Store and Letterman had just stopped emceeing his morning show.
My dad's like, "If your mom and I are having sex and we videotape it and she falls out of bed funny, can I win ten-thousand dollars?"
This woman woke up to see me and John Stamos banging on her windows. She must have thought she died and went to sitcom hell.
Met a girl the other nite and told her- Before you can be with someone you have to know the value of yourself. So does $200 seem reasonable?
It's so nice to share a day as beautiful as this one with hundreds of thousands of reckless drivers.