Quotes & Jokes by Bob Saget / page 8

There are no "I's" in "we" but there are two "i's" in "Wii."

I think Desperate Housewives is a pretty good show, I watch it, I like it and I don't love reality tv that much. I do watch some, I've got three daughters so we'll watch the good stuff, the fun stuff.

I don't roll like that but I've never been with a hooker either. Yeah, that's good to say in an interview cause I feel bad a little because people grew up watching me and that's a little disturbing.

There was this whole middle time that only Chris Rock came out of, you know, 10 years ago it was Chris and a few other people, but that's about it. Chris is in a class of his own; I don't see another comedian who I put in high regard as him.

Even John's dick has a great hairline. On "Full House," John's dick had a mullet.

I just tied a string around my penis so I don't forget it.

Valuable people are undervalued.

Paul Riser tells it in an interesting way; he dissects it and tells the structure, you know, 'you don't mention that part here.' But that's what's interesting about it and the people who are absent are interesting too.

My favorite Dylan song? I think it's 'Just Like a Woman.' It always makes me cry.

I don't call her my middle child, I call her my center child, Because the world revolves around her.

I'm fortunate to know a lot of incredibly talented people, and they all want to be a penguin.

If you laugh at that, you lower the bar, and I will limbo under it because I am a fucked-up guy!

Today is a brand new day. A day of change, of promise, of creativity, of kindness, and of love. I'm going back to bed.

Nobody can tell me what I can or can't do, except they can.

They go nuts. They flash me their boobs. And that's just the guys.