Quotes & Jokes by Bob Saget / page 9
I don't call her my middle child, I call her my center child, Because the world revolves around her.
"The videos are hysterical. Almost matching Bob Saget's creative introductions to them". Actually, my parents said that. But then they also once said, "We're very disappointed in you, Bob." They said that, but that was before I had this show.
Today is a brand new day. A day of change, of promise, of creativity, of kindness, and of love. I'm going back to bed.
Norm is such a horrible gambler, he bet Jon Lovitz would be funny tonight.
I'm doing 5000 seat theaters and audiences are going nuts, it's fantastic and it makes me very happy. I'm dirty, but not like this; I just do comedy that I find funny. I'm working on a new tv show for cable and it's not set up yet.
They say the measure of a man is judged by the company he keeps. I'm fucked.
The nature of comedy is "just do it". But I think what's interesting about it is this joke has been around and why. And it's just saying what's wrong and how wrong can you be if you say it.
Thank you, sir. Thank you very much. I assumed you were a guy, you might have female parts. I don't know per-say. And I don't mean to call it a per-say, but it might be... with sack.
I have a feeling I'm going to wake up one day and say "I can't do dirty stuff anymore, I want to go all clean". I'll do clean stuff too, I like to entertain people. Then they egged me on; we shot it at The Laugh Factory.
My haircutter figured out I whine less if I'm under general anesthesia. I just hope when I awaken they haven't given me a Brazilian wax.