Quotes & Jokes by Bob Saget / page 9
Today is a brand new day. A day of change, of promise, of creativity, of kindness, and of love. I'm going back to bed.
Paul Riser tells it in an interesting way; he dissects it and tells the structure, you know, 'you don't mention that part here.' But that's what's interesting about it and the people who are absent are interesting too.
The nature of comedy is "just do it". But I think what's interesting about it is this joke has been around and why. And it's just saying what's wrong and how wrong can you be if you say it.
What I've learned about comedy people is that they're defined by the harshest level they've been to, their personal Auschwitz.
Thank you, sir. Thank you very much. I assumed you were a guy, you might have female parts. I don't know per-say. And I don't mean to call it a per-say, but it might be... with sack.
Words matter. Especially if you're kicking someone's ass in words with friends.
My haircutter figured out I whine less if I'm under general anesthesia. I just hope when I awaken they haven't given me a Brazilian wax.
They say the measure of a man is judged by the company he keeps. I'm fucked.
I have a feeling I'm going to wake up one day and say "I can't do dirty stuff anymore, I want to go all clean". I'll do clean stuff too, I like to entertain people. Then they egged me on; we shot it at The Laugh Factory.