Quotes & Jokes by Chris Rock / page 11
If you live with a single parent, you don't see compromise. You witness a grown person living in a world where they do what they want to do. When you are raised by two parents, you are constantly watching compromise take place. Just by observing that, it made me a better person.
Every comedian has a moment in his life when he realizes he's a little bit different from everyone else. It's like being the only guy in a movie who sees the ghost. The ghost talks to you and you talk to him. Then you turn to your friend and say, "Hey. Do you see that ghost?" And he says, "What ghost?"
Bill Cosby was the first comedian I was exposed to, because he doesn't curse.
I'm never proper or careful, but I never curse in front of my mother, either.
After I left high school and got my GED, I studied broadcast journalism for a year at a community college.
The material comes from whenever you realize that you and someone else have something in common. So any conversation you've had more than once, anything you see happening to you that you see happening to a friend, you go, "Hmmm, that's a situation I can make funny."
You can't be happy that fire cooks your food and be mad it burns your fingertips.
Anyone who makes up their mind about an issue before they hear the issue is a fool.
I'm a nerd. I'm a little guy... the last guy you'd expect in a romantic movie.
If you said more words to him than "mommy'll be back", he might know something!
Is it just me, or is he the greasiest nigga you ever seen in your life? Every time Jermaine comes on, I gotta wipe the grease off the screen! Can't see shit! Jermaine must have been on. Even the police can't catch his ass, 'cause every time they try, he just slips out! They be like, "Somebody throw some sand on that nigga! Please!"