Quotes & Jokes by Chris Rock / page 13

It's weird with stand-up comedy. It doesn't really translate worldwide. I want to figure out how do I make it worldwide. Do a special in Africa. Can't beat that. Pull that off, then I will have done something.

You can write a great country record and still be angry. Who's angrier than Toby Keith? He's angrier than the average 10 rappers.

I do what I can do when I can do it.

Men lie the most, women tell the biggest lies … a man lie is, "I was at Kevin's house!" A woman lie is like, "It's your baby!"

There are people who would like to get rid of minimum wage. But we have to have it, because if we didn't some people would not get paid money. They would work all week for two loaves of bread and some Spam.

You won't be able to take your eyes off the next four presenters: Salma Hayek and Penelope Cruz.

It's no different. It's not like I ever cursed around my mother or anything. I never had a hard time turning it on and off. It's like you enter another country - sometimes you're in a cursing country and then you're in a kid's country.

America is the greatest country in the whole world.

Here's what I knew about doing a play: I knew it would make me a better actor.

There's no interference in stand-up. It's all the things it's hard to get in film: I get to have a wife, I get to have kids. I get to be sexual. I get to grow. I get to be a man.

Black movies don't have real names, they have names like Barbershop. That's not a name, that's just a location.

I like the tradition of the Oscars. I like that some of the greatest comedians ever have hosted the show.

I think my best work is when I'm kind of in charge.

The key to staying together is making sure you guys like each other and need each other.

The only thing I know about Africa is that it’s far, far away. A thirty-five-hour flight. Imagine the boat ride. The boat ride’s so long, there are still slaves on their way here.