Quotes & Jokes by Chris Rock / page 7
Now that I have children, I realize taking care of my children is more fun than anything in the whole world.
I never wanted to churn it out. Comedians tend to work all the time. They never put it down like musicians who might make an album then take three or four years off to recharge their batteries. Comedians tend to work straight through and they get stale because of that. Even when I didn't have a lot of money I never ever did it unless I had something new to say.
My goal in life was to host the MTV Awards, because it's the awards show that Prince sang on, and that was the awards show that Eddie Murphy hosted and Arsenio hosted.
I just thought everybody lived around abandoned buildings and crack-heads. I lived in the ghetto until I was like 19. I came to Los Angeles, stayed at hotels and stuff. When I got back and I saw what my neighborhood looked like, I started getting scared.
It's just sad to see some white person trying to do a nigger-less rendition of a Dr. Dre song. It's just fuckin' depressing.
That's right, "tell your mama", "tell your mama", "tell your mama" … nobody tells daddy shit!
Most parts in comedy, they're not really written for men. They're written for, like, these boy-men.
A comedy club is a place where you work out material, you're trying material.
America is the only place where people go hunting on a full stomach.
Dude, I didn't say Jude Law can't act. I didn't say Jude Law was in bad movies. I just said he's in every movie.
Daddy pays for the water, daddy pays for the gas, daddy pays for the electricity, and if daddy didn't pay for the electricity, he'd pay for the candle on your nightstand, so you can study for the big test tomorrow.