Quotes & Jokes by Chris Rock / page 9
I love having somebody there - that companion thing. You know who you're going to eat with, who you're going to see a movie with.
I love my life, but I don't think I'm any happier than my younger brother Andre, who drives a garbage truck.
I don't think my comedy is that political. It's more social. But whatever. When you make comedy and you do stand-up, you work alone. Movies have to go under so much scrutiny. A stand-up special is a vision, and a movie is a consensus in a lot of ways.
Most parts in comedy, they're not really written for men. They're written for, like, these boy-men.
You cannot win in a fight against women, cause men have a need to make sense.
Even if you meet the perfect person, it ain't gonna be at the perfect time. You're married, they're single. That's right. You're Jewish, they're Palestinian. You're a Mexican, they're a raccoon. You're a black woman, he's a black man.
Once you're married, kiss all your dreams good-bye and "make the bitch happy." Good relationship is simply eating and fucking.
I pride myself on being the guy who can do Def Comedy Jam and Charlie Rose. And do well on both.
Whenever I go out with other married couples, I like to bring along a single crackhead. Just to spice things up.
If you properly clean a room, it gets dirtier before it gets cleaner.