Quotes & Jokes by Dana Gould / page 5
Take away the robots and the special effects, and Star Wars is just the simple story of a group of friends planning a terrorist attack.
The man who invented instant pudding was moved to action by an inability to wait for pudding.
4th of July is the perfect holiday if you think America has too many fingers...
I once felt bad because I had no shoes, and then I met a man who had no feet. He was wearing an ankle bracelet that kept falling off.
If you don't believe in the living dead, how do your explain the Golf Channel?
Love is like pancreatitis; it starts off slow, then builds in intensity until you become consumed and develop violent cramps.
In the midst of all the candy and commercialism, let's not lose sight of the true meaning of Halloween: tree worship and animal sacrifice.
The Elephant Man claimed his head was big because, "it's so full of dreams." Actually, it's because his skull was shaped like a turkey.
I just staunchly bought one frame during a two-for-one frame sale and barely left the store alive.
If pop music reflects the culture, this will surely go down as the era in which people rose up and realized it was fun to dance at parties.
I think I had an argument with a hypnotist this morning. It makes perfect sense as I have no memory of it.