Quotes & Jokes by Dane Cook / page 15

It's the greatest when your girlfriend says to you, "dude... you need to go and get laid."

The little boy inside of all us men always loves something video game related.

I love being on stage if I'm not on a set. If I'm at home, I'm usually in my office editing or reconstructing my website or whatever it may be. I just love putting creativity into a performance, so if the right script comes along, and I certainly am reading comedies and dramas now, then I'm ready willing and able to give it a shot.

In school I was pretty quiet. Kinda shy until my junior year. But at home I was a freak.

You can’t become tempted if you just give in a little quicker.

I am an observer, I like to watch people. I am into psychology and people - how they act and such.

When I first hit the scene, it was just a lot of go, go, go, go, go. I have a lot of natural energy anyway, but it was over the top.

If you use tact you can say anything, then make it funny.

I think an invisible shit monster just dumped in my fridge but I can't figure out where the stank is coming from.

You know you're drunk when you think that the cab fare is the time.

Valentine's Day is a time to celebrate the joy of being in love. Unless you're single and lonely then it's called Laundry Day.

We all hope for breakthrough rebirth moments.

Christina can sing all the notes, but Britney is just hot!

People know I have a good time on stage. I love my life. I love my job.

You never make secret hallways normal height, they always have to be uncomfortable. Like Why the fuck did I build them like this?! Where's my Lab!?!