Quotes & Jokes by Dave Chappelle / page 6

No one calls 911 cool and relaxed. Now that shit would sound ridiculous.

I want to tell my jokes. I want to have time with my children. I want to entertain people. And at one point, I'll walk away from show business. But I don't want to walk away empty-handed.

Fame for me is like a place, a country I'm taking a tour through.

I'm famous today. People like me today. Might not like me tomorrow. You can't count on it.

Is this the 5:00 Free Crack Giveaway?

America, I appreciate you liking me.

Something about New York, man: You can do more comedy there probably than you can anywhere in the world. If you're interested in being funny, New York is the place to go.

I don't care if I ever work in TV again.

I'm rich biotchh!

Everyone around me says, You're a genius! You're great! That's your voice! But I'm not sure if they're right.

I still think people do have racial hang-ups, but I think one of the reasons I can joke about it is people are shedding those racial hatreds.

I got a big kick out of that, actually. I think even when we were doing the concert ... everyone thought it was kind of cool that three busloads of people came from southwest Ohio.

The only thing harder than leaving show business is coming back.

Whether it means having a show, or a movie, or just being on a stage, I need an avenue to say what I have to say.

I get a little heated when I talk about the past. But I wanted to be clear - I'm not mad at anybody - not anymore.